3rd day of my dad in hospital

Today is 3rd day my dad lay in hospital, he is still sleeping, I think he really got tired and he wants enough rest only can wake up.. So I will waiting for him. 

Last night, we went to asked the chines god which my mum request to do so. To let her not to worry, so we go and ask even I damn don't believe in this. 

I pray hardly even I am not believe in it, but I still hope the god can give us the answer, but I already the god is fake when I asked questions to the god..

Guess what she said? 

1. I gave her my dad lunar birthday, and told her my dad is in hospital now, so I want to know what happened to my dad and is it any miracle.

and guess what she said?she asked me back, why my dad in hospital? =.=..damn, if u are god, u totally no need to ask me these kind of questions because u already know what happened on him. 

Then my aunt so nervous and told her, my dad fainted because high pressure, and now in coma, cannot wake up, so what we need to do..=.=

after the god listened, she told us, "wah, like tis ar, very dangerous de lo... cannot promise when he can wake up, wat we can do is wait wait wait wait, and said, this kind of ill cannot put so much hope on that, we need to wait doctor, and said even he can wake up, we also got to take care of him for whole life, and blah blah blah..." 

please la, this answer I no need ask from god, any 5-year-old kids also can listened and learned from TV already, and u only told me back what i know..=.=... tot im stupid? go fuck off!!

somemore said we must take care my dad even he is wake up, pls la, i also know we need to take care la, takkan because of tis, we wish he is not wake up? damn!! 

no matter how i will do whatever i can! to let my dad survive. 

and she said my dad no hope, i will believe he sure can wake up and got hope! coz she is fake!!! 

Dad, don worry, we will never give up, and we not stupid to listen those fella~

my dad in hospital

yesterday morning, i received a call from my dad's friends, he told me that my dad was fainted and been sent to alor setar hospital, and i thought it was just dreaming or what, but actually not. At the beginning i have no feeling about it, but when he told me that my dad got very high pressure and about 200+, i really got shocked, how come this can happened? It's just like drama's story or scene, its can't be!

Because of my dad's situation very risky and critical, so they cannot move him and scare cannot rush back to penang, too dangerous to do so. So my dad was in alor setar's government hospital, and i called my mum about this news. She rushed to alor setar with my relatives to visit my dad, and stayed there for whole afternoon.

At evening, we got the call from alor setar said that my dad was stable for a while, so we can transfer him to penang hospital, its will be more convenient to us whenever we want to visit him or take care of him. So we decided to send him to penang.

At the night, we rushed to the penang's government hospital and they told us his pressure raised again, from 100+ to 200+.. really scared us. And his situation became more dangerous and critical. 

Seriously, I hated my dad sometimes, but at the same time, i do loved him, how much i hate, means how much i do love, maybe more than that. 

The doctors told us that, be prepared on psychological for anything that will happened, he might gone anytime. Honestly, we never be prepared for losing him, even my mum hates him too, but we really never mean to loss him. So now, we only can pray and wish that is miracle happens to us, and he can get well soon.

When I saw him lay on the bed, full with pairs and he got no response, I felt so sad and wish to let him know that i love him so much even i always fight for my freedom, but I seriously love him!! 

Doctor said we cannot do anything unless wait for miracle, and very high risk for operation, because that is bleeding on his brain, lower part that might causing his organs out of functions. 

I do hope that I am dreaming, everything is just a dream, not a fact, I really scared to loss him. I love him very much. I hope my dad can hear us, hear me, feel me when I am holding his hands. Seriously, and I felt guilt, because since secondary school, this is 1st time i hold my father's hands, and look at him so close. I was scare to look at him all the time, but this time, I hope he is looking at me, with his scary eyes. But he closed the eyes now. Daddy, I am missing you, really, I miss you so much. Please come back to us, please, I please you.

I promise u, I will do better in my studies, and i know now is a bit late to give promise, but please, I want you back to us. We need you. And don't angry on us anymore, we sorry about we always made you angry, but we will be good kids. 

I love u daddy, and I know u do love me too. So, you rest for few days enough already, after u enough rest, remember come back ya~ we always waiting for you~ no matter how long... love u~

I got a feeling~

hmm, we now already be together half year, and saw many couples married in this year, this really making me got a feeling to marry too... =.=
because I got to go KL for final year, I got a lot of things to worry about. So I really confuse about whether marry or not..
advantages of marry:
1. I can over night in his house whenever I wan, and my family a bit complicated, marry can solve it
2. We can do whatever we want to without worry or scare of my parent
3. Can follow him go every where even travelling or clubbing
4. I can still live in my parent house, since we haven't decide to have our own life yet.
5. I won't look at other guys, even other people might better than him, but officially treat him as my whole
6. Can strange our relationship, I can really relieve and go to KL for study (scare other people take him away from me)


things i worry about after marry:
1. Our relationship might turn cold when i am in KL for 1 year. (even not marry, just scare in case if really turn cold, then marry will make us suffer)

* just 1 thing i worry about..>.<

to do list in 2011-2012

1. next semester must get at least all C or above.. no more D
2. read english articles, essays, and fictions
3. study at least 2 hours per day
4. only can online at night for 2 hours
5. don disappointed my bf and family

love is blind~ sigh

    hmm, i saw 1 of my friend in a very complicated relationships, I don wan to mention the name la, later kills me~but hope she wont mind when read this post.

    I am here mention abit her stories not to back stab her, but I am just sharing what she is experiencing and my past experienced. Yup, as you saw "my experienced", I did have a complicated relationship last time, but not as complicated as hers.

    I really don't understand why can a person being so hard to make decision and stick with their own decision, human is the greedy animal, they never feel enough for what they owned, and stupid also, already know will get hurt, wont have bright future for this decision, but they still "hope" that is miracle happen soon. But reality is very cruel, wont let you easily get what you wish to.

    When you fall in love with someone, and you already love too deep, it is very hard for you to take back your heart from the person even you are a reality person, love means love, love is blind, even the partner is someone who has a family, has kids, or else that you should not start any relationship with him or her. But it is too late if you really love the person, unless you get hurt by the partner.

   Yup, no hurt no wake up. You keep dreaming that miracle happen between you and him. Sigh, please wake up, I know that you love the guy, he no choice to has a family, the family got any problems also his business, if you make decision to stay with him, then stay with him, I am not blaming anyone, I just do not understand, why you want two choices? two partners on the same time?? if you love him, then don think of other guys, if you want to let him go, then let him go. Why here 1 partner, there another partner?
make yourself in trouble only~ not only you suffer, also all of partners suffer because of you decision. again, not blaming you~ just hope you can be more awake of wat actually you want~

just brought this for my car~

Febreze: country fresh

I think is some fresh scent, and yes it is fresh compare with the rest. But not much choice huh~

I just saw 3 choices, green, orange and purple colours, I don't know what actually the scents for the rest 2. I do not like the smell, it did annoyed me. =.=

so this is the best scent among them. My car really need a air freshness. Always got weird smell, especially after raining. the smell damn gosh~ i can't stand, even my lavender essence also cannot cope the weird smell.

My boy friend told me that I need something that to cure the bacteria, got weird smell is because of the germ, bacteria and so on. And febreze is use for clean the bacteria with the soft and fresh scent. 

I bought the big size 800ml, can use for a long period~ haha

crystals correction!!

recently addicted to crystals.. but at the beginning like always look at the crystal website.. and ordered from website as well...
in 1 week, I already purchased 2 times crystals, and total price almost RM200..
after i bought crystals, i got a feeling: regret. not regret because of the crystals, is regret on i buy so many crystals, actually no need to spent so much on this things~ we can buy when got extra money..
but never mind la~ already bought, now what i can do is, love my crystal, and stop addicted to other cystals as well...

now i show my crystals here.. :)

moon stone necklace

rose quartz bracelet

obsidian bracelet

moon stone bracelet

Moon stone: helpful on relationship, increase the intimate between couple, beauty, helpful on diet, etc

Rose quartz: increase the interpersonal relationship among people, love, increase the awareness on self.

Obsidian: improve the stamina of the person, decrease the sickness, strong, etc..

I found that obsidian can help me to focus on study and pay attention~ thats why I bought it~ hope it really does help on focusing~ i really need "FOCUS"" =.=