Unexpected plot twist

Hmm, I had no ideas since when, and how, we had confirmed our status and relationship. There is no clear date and time that we are now couple. 😐

I don't remember how it turned out, just knowing that we are now committed to each other. Liking each other and loving each other.

He makes me know that how a relationship supposed to be like. A relationship supposed to be, two persons caring each other, concern each other instead of only one person contribute everything. Housework work together, spending time to listen and speak out, sharing about daily events, having own space. 

Every moment, we are missing each other, if we spending time together, we would spending time to cuddle. From time to time, he telling me how well am I, I am a good girl, worth everything beautiful and nice things in this world, encourage me, giving me confident, analyses life event of me, telling me more about the things I didn't know about the world. I see he is sparking all the time, he is good looking and charming in my eyes. Even though sometimes he act silly and with some stupidity, but I enjoy the time spending with him. He support me mentally and physically when I need. 

He concern about my girl, keep checking on me about my girl's status and well being. My girl is not with me, but with her father. He knows that I miss my girl a lot, when he knows I plan to go back see my girl, he is the only one who support me for going back to see my girl. All my family against me and my decisions, but he is the only one, understand me deeply and my feelings, I really appreciate that, and thank to him for always support me and give me strength to achieve something I want. 

I love him, I don't know how far we could go, and how far we would last, but I love him the moment we are together. 

He taught me to view the world differently, and refresh my points of views, even sometimes the topic are very deep and I need time to study on. I hope I could become more stronger, and support him in any form to give him strength to achieve his dream. 

In this relationship, I finally achieve something, what I always wish for a relationship goal, which is growing together, learning together, and get wealth together. I don't mind my partner is not rich, but I wish the person is always not tired of learning, and keep on upgrading own self value. 

I wish we could go very far together, and last forever, anything we working on it together. Keep on communicate to get the things fixed. Getting old together and never get tired of each other. 

 

Something uncertain

 Well, I had mentioned in the previous topic, Phillip and I developed into sex-partner relationship.

I behaved as friend daily, and turned to be wild at night. As behaved as a friend, I did not involve much in his life, his decisions, or comments much about his stuff, as I know that we are friend, so I always bear in mind how a friend suppose to behaves. 

Everyday, he concerns about my needs, my feelings, my situation from time to time. I get confused as I am not sure if this is how he concern his friends. He would hold my hands when we talking, give me a kiss on my forehead, cooked and wait for me to come back from work, and also will lay on my laps to relax, everything just sweet. I did not know what he means, and I worry I interpret wrongly, maybe he just treated me this way due to single for too many years, but didn't meant to commit into relationship, and when time comes, I have to go back to Seremban as planned, by time, we might just nothing to each other but just friends. 

I tried not to react much to his actions, and kept reminding myself, I shall not involve any feelings. But he was so caring, which I never experienced in all my relationship previously, even the ex husband also never as caring as he did. 

He never said he likes me or telling me anything that he wants me to be his girlfriend or etc, so I try to hold back my feelings, it did hurt sometimes as confusing me, but I managed to control my emotions and also feelings. 

He continues to treated me so well, and I couldn't hold anymore, and asked him if he likes me, but I didn't get any feedback, he just kept quiet and refuse to talks. Well, I said to him, if you didn't like me is okay, just tell me, I know what to do. He told me, he didn't said so. 😐😐So, what its means? I didn't know, and do not want to asked further, which make me sound desperate. 

 

End of Career and start a new life in other state

 I had ended my career from J&T Express (PEN) region back in Apr 2021. 

And I had moved to Seremban, Negeri Sembilan to find JJ Lim as she wanted to start her pub business over there and asked me to corporate with her in the business.

Things doesn't turned out as planned. The pub business forced to on hold due to the increase of cases of covid-19, and due to the serious of the pandemic, government announced of locking down for some of the businesses. 

At time, I keep in touch with Phillip, and he was aware of my situation, and helped in looking for job opportunities for helping me to survive through the pandemic. 

I was in Seremban, and he is in KL. He has few job opportunities for me, but in KL. I felt like, if I choose to be in KL, then I have to include the rental in my fix expenses, which is really not worthy as income would be quite low as a part timer. I am choose to work as part time, meanwhile waiting for the pub to operate the business as normal. He told me need not to worry about the place of staying, his office is empty and able to provide me a place if I don't mind. Well, when I heard this, I think this could be a great deal, as a friend, I can return him with treat of meals when I get my salary. So I accept his offer lastly and packed my stuff and go to KL in just few days time of consideration. 

The job he looked for me was a cashier, to me its not a difficult job to handle, but over-qualify, so I just accept it and go for it as a temporary job to get minimum income. 

I expected the whole space is occupied by me alone, didn't expect that he would be staying with me, as I thought he will only comes once a while to do his job and he will be staying other place or house. 

First day arrived in KL, his office. He was staying over together, in a same room, I feel awkward, inconvenience and a little of worries, because I could not being myself over the time, and he is a male, I admitted I have a little of feelings towards him, and I never staying over with any guys in a room, except looking for sex, I worried that our friendship would affected over the time. Well, first night, I really not able to slept well, insomnia seriously. I were awake trying to make myself to sleep until mid night, or around morning 4am or maybe 5am, he awake and knowing I could not sleep, and he could not continue to sleep back. 

He asked me if he could sleep beside me, on the sofa bed that I was on. I said, this is your sofa bed, you can just sleep beside (wishing that he is really just sleep beside as two individuals without any chemicals reactions), but I was wrong. He hugged me from behind. I was a little bit shocked and stunned, didn't dare to make any move, I knew where it might goes as flow, I tried to be relax, and he touched me softly, as I could not hold further anymore and started to give him reactions, and thinking I shall just go with the flow, both of us are adults, and it wasn't wrong if we developed into sex-partner as long as always bear in minds, game is game, and always remember the rules, and act as an adult. 

Due to my current status, separate with spouse (divorce situation) but still not officially divorced, so I try to not putting much of feelings and commit too fast, I didn't know his thoughts as well, maybe he just need a sex partner as I do, and both of us are fulfill each other needs, so, why not? 

We are sex-partner and friends as the same time, this was the best at time for both of us. 

My new life and new chapter in KL.