1st time wanna throw my handphone very badly!! if i got plenty of money, i surely throw it and buy a new 1!!

我

"我" 这个字代表了中心点, 现在想些关于我的事..

我, 很傲慢孤僻, 难以了解, 自相矛盾, 自欺欺人. 

对喜欢的人事物绝对不会抗击, 但是讨厌的东西, 我已经尽量的避开了, 尽量不接触, 但是如果我在默默的避开时, 受到了威胁, 我绝对不会坐以待毙, 让人家欺负, 你以什么方式招惹我, 我就怎么对付会你, 我觉得这并没有错, 也从来没有人觉得我错了, 我还真的是受到挫折了, 第一次被人认为我做错了. 是这样吗? 我喜欢用我的文法和文采来表达我的想法, 我从以前就是这样了, 认识我的人都懂, 我真的觉得没有错. 难得我还要再认为被人欺负之下还要默默的忍受吗? 

是的,我说过我活着不是为了取悦他人, 所以我就写了很多东西, 我就是因为不在乎了,所以拼命写咯. 难道这也有错? 是啊, 我不需要你的支持, 如果你不同意我的做法, 反正我从一开始始终是一个人不是吗? 我告诉过自己, 人家付出多少, 我就付出多少, 因为在我付出和在意很多的时候, 我感受不到被在乎, 这让我很痛苦. 如果有一天我不再热情,不要怪我冷淡了.. 

i dream of my boy friend broke up with me =.=
i felt like only 1 night, i got really no one anymore, except my family..
my dearest getting far away from me..

I won't update any status on my Facebook anymore, since there is someone feel annoy and pressure. My status will all been update here from right now. Rather than someone said my status give too much disturbance. Here not much ppl will concern about me and not much ppl know me and the person, so I think it's better? And halo to the person, I know that u still cannot accept the things I write here as u thought or it seem like challenge, but please do understand my situation, I already do whatever to make you better, and beside u feel better, I also need somewhere to release my feeling, my thoughts, my opinions, my emotions, I can't keep it inside with me too long, I will going to be crazy. Until now I still don't understand what I had did was wrong on my facebook just because I tried to fight back. Just hope u not going to make me mad and make the things go worst, as u know that if anything unimpressed are because both parties fault, not only ones. Sometimes I just need u to listen to my heart, as I listen yours too. I already out of idea to impress u anymore, I dont know what can I do anymore, sometimes I am just tired of being work hard to protect our relationship, maybe we are not suitable to each other, I really do hope that we can do more than that, I really hate argument, I hate misunderstood, I hate being doubt, and hate being alone if I am in relationship with someone, if these does not make any changes, what is the point for me to start a relationship? Since I can own these all when I'm single.

And I really felt upset and a bit disappointed when my afford being not be appreciated. I was spent all my time to completed the book, I was think very hard to write those things, and you, only read 1st page, then put it a side, the reason is u got no time to read. (I was headache of too little page and little things to write on that book, it's not even 10 pages if no mistaken, and u told me u got no time) what is the point to did all those stuff for u? I just felt I'm silly to did everything.

I knew that I'm not mature sometimes, keep asking u to bring me here and there, eat nice foods, and buy something I like. And I already try to telling myself to control, and don't keep spending, I know our status and situation. I just need some support and 安慰.

Ps: I'm here not to blame or what, I just write my feeling, hope u do understand.

its so unfair to my dad

My dad was death for almost 4 months or even more, and sometimes I still miss him very much~
Our house lost 1 member, who always used to in living room, his table, all the time and watched the TV for 24 hours without letting others people to watch. I miss his voice, his scary face expression, and his shadow.

Now I still wonder, why my dad didn't even been pushed to surgery room to try any luck. I knew that his situation was very critical at the time, but it isn't the responsibility for any doctors to try their best to save the patient? Especially when the patient already been knew that surgery or not also will die, why didn't try luck? Since even without operation, the patient also will die, why? It was so unfair for my dad, didn't even push to operation room, already been announced cannot being save? We watched so many dramas about the surgery, all of the dramas will try their best to save the patient, even its very high risk, as long as already do their best..

But why? My dad been announced cannot be saved? I will very thankful to doctor, if there was someone try to save him, even he might die too when the operation is on going, but at least I know there was someone wanted to save him. I miss him so much~