3 weeks without dad

It's already 3 weeks without dad. If I said I already use to it in short term, I am sure that a lot of people will said I'm not a good daughter. Yup, honesty I already use to it.

If my dad still alive and he was leave home, I will miss him and ask him to come back then. But the truth is he already gone, a death person which the soul might in different dimension which we can't see, touch and hear. So I'm not going to be stubborn and hypnosis myself that my dad still alive and he will back to us 1 day. I won't do that!! I just want my dad to rest in peace and don't worry about us, he now in his world and his own stuff. Not I don't want to show that how sad am I on my lost, because I know what am I doing. 

I'm not going to pretend GOOD daughter in front people, because I am who I am. And seriously, I don't like people asking me how well am I after my dad gone, am I use to it or not, etc. Because I know that, if I say I use to it, I'm not sad at all now, people sure will doubt of me and pointing on me beside I don't feel like be over concern by others as well. So I rather people ignore my lost, just talk to me as usual is very helpful for me. 

Honesty, I feel comfortable without dad. Maybe he gave too much pressure when he was alive, under the pressure, I always felt scared and worried, even when go out with friends. But now, I got my freedom, and I enjoy it. Do not point on me, because I know what others will think of me. But I am just tell what my feeling now. And I'm not happy that my dad pass away, just feel there is no much pressure already. Still miss him even I'm enjoy my life now.